


Everytime

by ZankieForLifeBaby



Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 04:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7920670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZankieForLifeBaby/pseuds/ZankieForLifeBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lies, truth, and misunderstandings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everytime

**Author's Note:**

> Every time I try to fly I fall  
> Without my wings  
> I feel so small  
> I guess I need you baby  
> And every time I see  
> You in my dreams  
> I see your face  
> You're haunting me  
> I guess I need you baby
> 
> I may have made it rain  
> Please forgive me  
> My weakness caused you pain  
> And this song's my sorry

Frankie rolled his eyes out the window. The black car was speeding down the highway through a cloud of torrential rain that slid by Frankie’s window in waves. He’d flown to Florida for this. He was more than a little pissed off. He could have stayed in New York with his friends. He could have flown to LA to be with Ari and her friends. He would’ve had fun. Instead, he flew, by himself, to see one of the most infuriating people—well, him and Nonna. Polar opposites to say the least. 

Frankie couldn’t force himself to think about it another minute, turning the music up louder to drown out the voices in his head. “ _I’m busy. Later,_ ” rang through his head like a bad melody. Who the fuck did Zach think he was? Frankie was flying _for him_. All of this was for him. It always was. He’d spent days finding his center again, and Zach wrecked it in three words filled with unsaid meaning.

Frankie arrived to a dark house, rushing through the rain to get inside. The driver carried his bag to the door before departing with barely a goodbye. Frankie normally liked it that way. But the house felt lonely tonight. Even though he knew it wasn’t true, it felt like everyone he loved was at least a thousand miles away. This is not how he’d planned it—to spend his second night back in America sleeping in his bed _alone_.

* * *

Zach was pacing in his bedroom. He was angry and anxious and it was all just a bad combination. His ADHD was firing out of control and his mind jumped from topic to topic faster than he could process. _Frankie. Liar. Lover. Miss him. So mad. How could he? He had to. Did I give him a choice? Of course I did. Love him. Want him. He’s alone. Can’t forgive him. Must forgive him. Stay. Go. My hair looks really good tonight. Fuck._

Zach had been ready to fly to New York at a moments notice just four days ago. They hadn’t discussed what would happen when Frankie got home from England, but Zach was dying to see him. He had done well at first, but after three weeks, he was getting annoyed at the whole thing. He wanted to talk to Frankie. He was so proud of him. Well, mostly. He couldn’t bear to watch the show, but he gleamed that Frankie was doing well from the few updates he was spammed with on social media. Frankie had always had the best social game Zach had ever seen so it wasn’t surprising. He had truly wanted Frankie to win so badly.

Frankie had texted him soon after leaving the house. “I’m freeeeeeeeeeee!!!” was the first thing to beep on his phone. Zach had grinned like an idiot, loving Frankie’s name on his phone again.

“Thank god. I missed you,” Zach sent back, attaching the sparkling pink heart emoji. He meant it. He always meant it when it came to Frankie.

“I missed you too love. Wish you were here in London. I could show you just how much I miss you right now,” Frankie teased, a wink and an eggplant emoji accompanying the message. Zach blushed, but he liked it.

“Tell me about it. I wish I were there too. Come see me soon? I can come to you,” Zach offered. He chewed his lip a bit while he waited. He needed Frankie to make this happen sooner rather than later. 

“I’ll be back in NYC on Sunday. I’ll need some time to recover, but I need to see Nonna anyway. It’s been way too long. So maybe I’ll come down towards the end of the week. We’ll have the whole house to ourselves…” Frankie replied. Zach took less than five seconds to answer yes. 

Zach was scrolling through his texts now. He couldn’t believe how everything had changed in the last few days. Zach had tried not to get sucked into the post celebrity big brother press. He’d been doing a damn fine job of ignoring it actually, when his mother was reading an article and insisted that Zach read it. _I’ve never had somebody in the house that I was compatible with._

Zach’s heart had sunk like a rock. It felt like a kick to the gut. His first instinct had been to text Frankie. To say something. To do something—anything. But, in an instant, that fire was gone. It was filled with defeat. He thought about his mother reading this and he felt smaller than ever. He’d spent two years convincing himself that she was wrong—he was enough for Frankie. Now, Frankie had put it in black and white. He wasn’t. He never had been. In the back of his mind, Zach knew he was overreacting. This lie was too blatant to be believed. It hurt nonetheless.

The weekend came and went. Frankie didn’t mention the article once—not a single word. Zach spent the whole weekend wondering if he should bring it up. And then, on Monday, Frankie took a solo retreat and it felt selfish to say anything. So he sat on it and he thought about it more than he should. It was eating away at him, bringing all his self doubts to the surface and pushing them to the forefront of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to let it go—for everyone’s sake. It was a few days later when Zach awoke to the sound of his phone ringing. He saw Frankie’s name and almost didn’t answer.

“Hi,” Zach murmured, exaggerating the sleep in his voice.

“Oh. Sorry I woke you. Wanted to let you know that I’ll be landing at 6pm tonight. Pick me up?” Frankie asked. He sounded chipper. It made Zach just a tiny bit more annoyed.

“Can’t. Work. Meet you later,” Zach grumbled. Punctuating the last word with a fake yawn that turned real as he went through the motions.

“Okay. See you soon. Can’t wait,” Frankie singsonged. Zach could imagine him twirling in his bedroom, his suitcase open on the bed while he selected his wardrobe for Florida. Zach was smiling despite himself.

“Yeah. Gotta go. Bye,” Zach finished quickly. A sad bye echoed from the other side as Zach hung up quickly.

He rolled over, determined to sleep through the day. Amanda would understand. He just knew she would.

* * *

Zach’s guilt was eating at him. He sucked at lying. It always made him feel worse. He called Frankie. Frankie didn’t answer. Zach was sitting on the edge of the bed now, Tiger’s head in his lap. He pet Tiger’s ears absentmindedly with one hand, scrolling his phone with the other. Pictures of Frankie in Florida were filling his social media. Frankie was wearing the blue and purple hat from their season of Big Brother—in fact, he’d been wearing it for days on end. Despite himself, Zach noticed it every time. Zach didn’t think too much further when he swiped his keys from his bedside table and headed out to his car, running through the drizzling rain. 

He put the car in gear and sped toward Boca, his heart hammering with the thunder booming in the distance. He didn’t know what to say to Frankie. All he knew was that he needed to talk to him. It might end horribly—and it wouldn’t be the first time. But he knew that if it had to be horrible, it was best to get it over with so that it could get better.

By the time Zach reached Frankie’s house, the lights were out and the rain had stopped. The sky was a dark grey, distant lightning cracking the sky into pieces. Zach used his key to open the door, calling for Frankie as soon as it was open.

Frankie was barely dressed, a pair of tight briefs and a tank top on as he stepped into the living room from the hallway that Zach knew led to his bedroom. “Babe?” Frankie asked, his face confused. His earlier anger was dulling at the sight of Zach. Zach just shrugged, a soft smile on his face as Frankie crossed the room, pressing himself into Zach’s arms. Zach could smell Frankie’s shampoo and he wanted to stay right there forever. 

Frankie looked up at Zach, turning his head for a kiss. Zach hesitated and Frankie’s eyes flashed with hurt. Frankie extracted himself from Zach’s arms, moving a good two feet away from Zach. His arms crossed and he eyed Zach carefully. “I thought you were busy. That I should just see you _later_ ,” Frankie accused. Zach at least had the decency to look guilty, Frankie thought.

“I wasn’t sure I could see you. That I wanted to. After…” Zach trailed off.

“After what? You sure wanted to see me a few days ago. So, what, you let me come all the way here and then lied to me so that you wouldn’t have to see me. Real nice Zach, real mature. It’s not like I haven’t already traveled a million miles and lost hours of sleep. Let me just waste some more on you. You’re so unappreciative,” Frankie accused. His eyes were narrowed, his shoulders squared. If Zach’s anger hadn’t been rising with each word, he might have been able to appreciate the picture of Frankie in his underwear, indignant as hell.

“ _Unappreciative_. I guess I didn’t get the memo that I’m supposed to appreciate you belittling our relationship. I _really_ appreciate how much you rewrote history. You were pretty liberal with the eraser there. It’s almost like I didn’t even exist. Am I even real to you? Or just a toy you jerk around at your pleasure…because we know that’s all you’re really good at, using toys to get your pleasure,” Zach accused. Frankie’s mouth opened in protest before he closed it quickly. Zach took satisfaction in the moment of stunned silence.

“What the fuck are you even talking about? I went on a show. I didn’t do anything wrong. And now I’m here—really fucking quickly, I might add—and all I wanted to do was be with you. Why are you attacking me?” Frankie asked. 

“I guess we just aren’t _compatible_ ,” Zach threw back at him, snarling the last word like he was a rabid dog, just waiting to be provoked.

“Oh my god, seriously, Zach,” Frankie groaned, rolling his eyes. His response did little to lower Zach’s adrenaline. He was hyped. He wanted this fight. It was a long time coming and he couldn’t deal with it anymore.

“How could you?” Zach asked, “Do you want to forget me? Erase us? What was that? You’re a liar,” Zach voiced stayed firm, but his heart broke at the question. He hardened his stance, his arms across his chest fighting to hold himself together. 

Frankie was not prepared for this. He felt ambushed. He could’ve explained it all rationally, but Zach wasn’t giving him that chance. He was not the bad guy here; he knew that. He’d spent years protecting Zach and it was more damned if you do and damned if you don’t than anything he’d ever done in his entire life. So he’d answered the simple way. England didn’t care about zankie. It was easier to cut it out than play defense again. He was tired. 

“Seriously. You do not get to be mad at me for that. What was I supposed to do? There are way worse things I could’ve done,” Frankie replied. He shrugged his shoulders as if the whole ordeal was nothing but a petty worry. 

“Worse?” Zach wondered aloud. This was impressive, even for Frankie. Frankie had fucked up. Frankie had lied. Yet, somehow, someway, it was still Zach’s fault—again. Zach knew he was egotistical—narcissistic even—but this, this was impressive.

“I could’ve told the truth. I could’ve told them that I’ve fucked you seven ways to Sunday and you beg me for it on a regular basis. I could’ve told them that you love to suck dick more than any man I’ve ever known. I could confess that you’ve been hiding for two years. I could’ve outed you. That’s the worst thing I could’ve done, but I didn’t. Maybe I should have. It sure would simplify things,” Frankie threatened. 

Somehow, that was it for Zach. He didn’t even see it coming, but it snapped and the path seemed clear. “Fuck you. I’m done,” Zach retorted, “Have fun searching for someone who isn’t after your money or your name.” Zach held back the tears until he made his way out the front door. He dropped his key in the entryway on his way out. He ran through the pummeling rain to his car, finally letting himself cry. The engine turned over with a roar and he sped away from the curb. 

Frankie watched the rain through the still open front door. He stooped down to pick up the silver key on the floor. He turned it over in his hand before shutting the door. He hesitated to lock it. He was hurt and he was angry, but he already wished that Zach would just walk back through the door. Frankie set the key on the table to his left and turned away, walking to the sofa where he pulled a blanket over himself. His eyes stung as tears streamed down his face. The rain was the only soothing comfort he could find as jet lag creeped up on him.

His phone rang, waking him from sleep. The living room was pitch black until a loud rumble echoed through the house, the flash of lightning illuminating the room for the briefest of moments. He squinted at his phone, barely making out ‘Jill Rance’ on the screen. “Hello,” Frankie mumbled. There was a litany of words coming at him in a second. He could barely comprehend. _Rainstorm. Slick road. Accident. Hospital. Critical._

Frankie made it to the hospital by some miracle. He couldn’t remember how he got there as he crashed to his knees beside Zach’s bed. His face was badly bruised and swollen. There was something wrapping around his head and too many wires connected to his usually beautiful body. A cast was around each leg and one arm was folded at a ninety degree angle across his chest in a sling. The beeping from the machines was loud, invasive, and cruel. Frankie glanced at the monitor and although his medical knowledge was fairly limited, his father was a doctor, and he understood vital signs. What he saw was bad. Zach’s blood pressure was really low. 

Frankie grasped Zach’s hand in both of his, pressing his face down against it. He cradled Zach’s hand against his own cheek, tears streaming down his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered in vain. Zach didn’t respond.

Suddenly, the room was moving, as the monitor blared an undeniable single solitary note. Frankie felt like he was going to be sick as he was pushed out of the way, a blur of people crowding his vision as they formed a wall around Zach, separating him from the man he loved. His heart was cracking in two. He couldn’t breath. He gasped for air, his chest tightening. His head was spinning, his vision blurred by the tears falling to his cheeks. He was going to die right here, right now.

His phone was ringing loudly. It was blaring in his ear. He searched his pockets for his phone. He couldn’t find it. The sound kept getting louder and louder. It wouldn’t stop until he opened his eyes to the pitch black night. He was on the sofa again, the blanket suffocating him with trapped heat. He reached for the phone, his heart stopping as he saw ‘Zach Attack’ across the screen.

“Zach,” Frankie answered carefully, tears welling in his eyes.

“Frankie,” Zach practically whined. Frankie knew he’d been crying. He could hear it in his voice. A bright burst of light flooded the house followed by the blast of thunder, shaking the ground violently. 

“Come back. Come back here, please. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Frankie cried into the phone, holding his breath for Zach’s answer. Silence stretched into eternity. Frankie sobbed out a breath, his head still filled with his nightmare.

There was a loud knock on the door. “It’s open,” Frankie yelled, tripping over the blanket as he ran to the door that swung open. Zach was soaking wet, his hair plastered to his head. Frankie didn’t care. He flung himself at Zach, his hands gripping Zach’s rain slicked jacket. Zach’s arms wrapped around Frankie. Frankie’s shirt soaked through, his body freezing in the cold rain, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. “You were dead,” Frankie mumbled against Zach’s chest.

“What?” Zach asked, his eyebrow raised as he stepped back, but Frankie pulled him close in an instant, unwilling to lose the contact, a momentary fear that this was the dream was rising within him. Maybe he’d passed out from shock and this was some wild fantasy.

“Pinch me,” Frankie instructed. Zach laughed quietly.

“You are crazy,” Zach chuckled, dropping his hand to pinch Frankie’s ass, hard. Frankie yelped, jumping a bit.

“Rude,” Frankie tossed at him, his eyes shining with joy. Zach just shrugged, stepping across the threshold with Frankie glued to his front. Zach secured the door, locking it tight. 

“It’s really coming down out there. I could hardly see. I made it to the end of the neighborhood and there was this area of water, or something, I don’t know, my car spun around. I still don’t know how I stopped it. I thought I was going to crash for sure. All I could think about was you. I parked and ran back here. I’m an idiot. Of course you lied. I lie everyday. I’m worse than you. All you do is protect me. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me baby,” Zach begged. Frankie was brushing his fingers through Zach’s wet hair as he listened.

“Only if you forgive me,” Frankie replied.

Zach smiled warmly, kissing Frankie. “That can be arranged,” Zach promised. Frankie nodded in agreement, his fingers slipping down Zach’s still damp face, tilting Zach’s chin back to his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Clearly I was feeling a certain way when I wrote this...I hope you still enjoyed it!


End file.
